yes ... i've been crazy busy lately (the last month and a half) ...but i finally took the time to upload some slideshows to youtube (www.youtube.com/TheSnoshi1) ...below you'll find a sample of my wedding work ... the quality is lacking a bit until it finishes processing ...but then you can select the 480p version for best results.
I put up a couple slideshows and video montages of Emmett also ... i'll get around to posting the shots here and updating the last 2 weeks of our "maternity" series.
our first week at home ...ahhh. there's a different kind of sleepless night now. the first night we brought little dude home we all sat in the livingroom staring at each other. emmett in his basinette and steph and i lurking over top of him like staring at fish in a bowl. at night we left the bathroom light on across the hall so we could see if he was breathing ... i hear every parent goes through this but it's been exceptionally difficult to get used to at home for us after the monitors in the NICU. we'll relax eventually ...but we're so nervous right now that it's the best thing for us. plus he's cute so staring at him all night long isn't that hard heheh.
we both didn't know what to make of all his little noises ...lots of grunts / groans / peeps and pops ...and farts. oh man ...they are the funniest thing ever... such a tiny little body makes such huge fart noises. steph said she could have confused some of them for adult flatulence. i'm already proud of the boy for many reasons, but he's learned to play the fart game ...we're going to have a lot of fun together for sure. we pull him out of the basinette for tummy time on the clifford rug that ashley got steph for a baby shower present. it's very bright and he seems to enjoy the colors vs the carpet.
i've been practising my baby carrying skills by walking 'doc' (courtesy of rob ...citing the back to the future reference) around the house and introducing him to the places around him. he doesn't seem to care very much ...but enjoys the cuddle time by falling asleep while i'm talking about the laundry room.
it had been almost a week when we took him out of the house for the first time ... doctors appointment. things went well...our doctor joked with us about seeing us 2 years ago to talk about sterilization ...only to now be taking care of our baby. she was happy with his state and weight and told us to continue to do what we're doing. we always question if we're doing the right things ...emmett seems to tell us when we're groovin' right along with him.
he's such a little cutie ... his head control is far better than i would have imagined at his age and all things considered with him being really early... he's pretty steady when he's laying on my chest. he can easily lift his head up and focus on me for a second or two and then flop his head back down on my chest ...he can do it a few times before he gets frustrated trying to see me and just lays his head back and tilts his neck on my chest to stare at the hairy guy.
he's got a great grip too... he can full strength grip my finger for a good 30 seconds before he gets tired ...and he pulls my finger towards his mouth while steph's changing him and i'm on guard for the flying pee ...i have to remind him that i have no boobs and that my finger will not benefit him in any way. "these aren't the boobs you're looking for ...move along" ...the jedi mind trick works on my little dude. so cool.
visitors have been steady of course, and we appreciate everyone calling and/or writing before coming by ... ya just never know when the boobs will be out so be mindful should you walk in unprepared hehehe.
steph's tired ... a sign she's doin' a great job of bein' a mom.
During the weekend of 35-36 we'd talked about trying Little E in a crib again on Monday ...and sure enough, when we arrived on Monday morning our nurse had taken him from the isolete and snuck him into a crib overnight. Not only that but they'd removed the isolete too ... we were pretty sure they'd only do that if they're sure the baby will hold temperature. We were guessing that 2000g would be his magic number and it was. We were excited to see him dressed and ready for school when we arrived. Dona used the disposable camera we left with the nurses and shot a few pics for us... Can't wait to see them.
The few days before everyone had been constantly reinforcing us telling us what practical ppl we are and that Emmett was very lucky to have us with our patience and understanding as well as our 'common sense' approach to how we were going about our time in the NICU. one of our nurses cuddled and sang to Emmett while she was overnight feeding him before we went to 24 hr feeds. she's been a nurse for a very long time she said, and our Emmett was the first Emmett she'd taken care of. She was super to all 3 of us. We're gonna miss these ppl ... They've had such a huge impact on both of us and how we think about being parents. soaking up all those years of experience and education was a delight for us.
...do de doo ... next day .... word came down that we'd be getting a room on Connell 7 ...so Steff could do round the clock feeding... Exciting!!!! Not only because she'd be feeding 27/7 on demand, but because Connell 7 is also the old prisoner ward ...the day before we stayed there our nurse told us it used to be used for prisoners who required hospital stays. verrrrry cool i thought. we arrived and saw individual cell-style rooms with locking doors... You enter the area from a little unmarked door with a key and walk in to a ward of rooms with solid doors. You can see minor renovations that took place creating a family area at the reception entrance ... and at the end of the hallway there's an entrance into the procedure rooms ... all nicely locked away from eachother. It was pretty cool up there but it gave Steff the willies... it looked like it was painted in the 70's and left that way. I went home to do laundry / clean and eat with the cats.
The KGH auxillary provide coffee/tea and cookies for the short term guests ... everyone from cancer clinic families to ppl like us waiting to have their child's parole issued. It was sure better than nothing ... we've stayed in creepier places (like the camper in Omeemee that we rented for a wedding .... What a shithole... I ended up sleeping in the bed of a truck that night instead, but i did get pretty drunk so i'm not sure really sure what caused me to sleep in the truck ..the shithole cabin or the booze.) we both thought fondly of being there on Connell 7 though despite the accommodations, cause we knew we were a step closer to bringing Emmett home.
After two days of 24hr feedings they decided that we were in line for the 'care by parent' room ... Which is the LAST step before being released on warrant expiry. As soon as the previous family was out and the room was cleaned we were in and wheeled Emmett in for a family night. They wheeled in the rickety old cot from the pediatric ward and threw me some sheets ... ahhh almost done in baby prison. it was worth every second to get to sleep near him and listen to the little spurts and noises he makes all night. being close by when he was feeding without having to be gowned up like he was a lab experiment was the best. we knew we were almost home but we wouldn't let ourselves get our hopes up until he'd passed his morning cell inspection.
So I'm layin' in a cot on the floor of a private hospital room much like the one I was in just over a year ago myself right now ... and tomorrow we'll get to take him home to be our very own best present ever. I put my shoes in the bathroom but it's still all I can smell in the room. poor kid ...at least Steff's used to it
The best part about leaving (other than actually getting to take Em home) was in the morning before we left when the med student from the NICU came over to do a vital sign check and final exam before giving us our walking papers ...Emmett promptly projectile-squirt-shat all over his bed, narrowly missing med student's hands as he pulled them away faster than if the boy was on fire. it was definitely a projectile squirt shit that i'll never forget hearing or seeing the aftermath of.
We stood in the entranceway to the NICU and a bunch of the nurses took turns coming out to say goodbye and goodluck. We gave them the card that I made that had a list of all our nurses names and something personal written to and about them from the perspective of Emmett during his hospital stay. we had more than 25 different nurses throughout our stay and managed to keep track of them all hehehe.
You'll pardon me for not posting this til well after he's been home a few days ... we wanted some private time alone with our new little family
A projected 10 week stay turned in to 6 weeks ... I like those numbers ... welcome home little dude. sure glad you made it. let's see how much sleep we get now... not that we were getting much before.
After a few days of gowns/masks and gloves the boy finally got to see our faces again! Although there is a baby in isolation in our pod in the unit, there's another nurse assigned to him. We're still spooked about infections as visitations have been allowed again. For how long, who knows.
The one thing that kinda irks me about the cleanliness of the hospital is the public area wahrooms. Everything else here is so perfectly clean all the time...except the washroom. I walked into the Davies wing bathroom near the cafe and turned into the walled area surrounding the urinal and found myself face to face with a pile of shit nuggets floating in a browny-yellow soup. After almost puking I turned to head out and heard a voice from the stall say "isn't that fucking disgusting ...". I agreed with the mystery voice and left ...as I walked away I thought that person might have been the culprit... the next day the urinal had a plastic bag over it (clear bag mind you it was see through) .... It was a week before it was cleaned up properly. I've shit in some of the most disgusting places during my pre-show ritual shit ...but i tell ya that washroom was the worst. probably the pale pink paint color ... I started using the staff washroom right next to it which was, mysteriously enough, always spotlessly clean and ready for my urine.
Emmett had his feet and hand prints done on Monday ...i'll have to find a frame for them in the collection of frames that's taking up a good chunk of his closet these days.
To prove that you can never predict what will happen in the NICU we arrived Tuesday night to see a sign on the door indicating that visitation was once again limited to parents only. what a relief ...even though it means we have to glove/gown/mask again whenever we want to open his toaster oven, at least now we can rest assured that everyone coming in is screened by the unit clerk on entry ...
On Wednesday our nurse suggested another attempt at putting him into an open crib to see if he's able to maintain his temperature on his own. Although his baby toaster oven does not have the humidity on, there is still temperature control in effect to lessen his workload while he's growing. Later that night his temp was still holding but when we came back in the morning he was back in the isolete as his temp had dropped from 37 to 36.2 in a span of 6 hours. Back to the drawing board ...I think were pushing him a bit but he'll get used to us challenging him
So we'll wait a few more days and try it again .... He's up to 1905g (4lbs 3oz) and breast feeding 3 times a day so we're still on a very positive course ...we (his care team and parents) do not consider this a setback.
As strange as things are they can always get stranger ... my boss turned in his resignation on Tuesday and work called to ask if I was able to come in on my schedule and help get things cleaned up and on track. So, sick leave was short lived ...but the cause of the majority of my work related stress is now gone. I can't say anything really bad about the guy but he was a bit hard to take most times. Nothing was ever good enough or done right for him. I did learn a lot from him and am kinda sorry to see him go... I wouldn't be able to do what I do without his experience ... I think I just do it with a bit more empathy.
I'll be back on stage with Jay Harris and The Transceivers at The Mansion on Nov 28 with our old friend Justin Bird and that Matt Hanlon character I used to play with in Betablokka. It's been a long time since we shared a stage ... I'm rather giddy looking forward to seeing him play again and hearing some of those songs i love. It's been a while since I've seen Justin too .... He's such an amazing performer on stage and his voice is unstoppable. he's one of those truely amazing showman who pulls out all the stops when he plays ... I remember being on stage when I was playing with him and never knowing what to expect ...always fun. I'm not sure if mike perlin is on bass or not ... but that's always a treat to watch too. Hope to see everyone out for a Kung-Fu party as Jay phrased it.
that's about all I can remember this week. oh ..my friend Patti had her baby on Friday the 13th ... spooky. We saw her in her room ...her husband heard us calling into the NICU from the phone in the hallway and stopped us to share their story. congrats mike and patti...
The pic above is from before lockdown... we had him out for a little snuggle...
NICU is on lockdown in light of the H1N1 pandemic flu season that Fox News would have us believe was the plague finally being unleashed ... gowns and masks and gloves are now mandatory for all contact in the unit, nurses and parents. Previously it was only required for nurses to wear a gown when they handled the little man or when we had him out ...now it's all the time and a mask/gloves too.
I've seen a few parents entering the unit without washing their hands and it pisses me off. At least the wankers weren't in our pod in the unit. on top of that we overheard some idiot attempting to tell his wife how to breastfeed ...the nurses had a field-day telling him to back off unless he had mammory glands... pretty sure he couldn't figure it out ... The dumbasses that were behind us recently had to be reminded that their cellphone camera was still a cellphone and and to be turned off while in the unit. Guess they couldn't read the 72 point font sign on the door beside the phone to call in to enter the ward.
The Little E has moved forward to partial breast feeding ... the nurses are always impressed with his progress ... and encouraging during setbacks. I know i say this in almost every blog but the nurses are awesome here.
So needless to say we've informed everyone that visits are now unavailable ... our parents are crushed ... but we have the best interests of ALL the babies in the unit in mind, not just ours. We are planning a quiet welcome home celebration when he gets released from baby jail ... Be prepared to be sanitized by a shovel of lye on entry to our house. We're not germ freaks, but the little dude will be in a precarious state for a while.
We took the infant CPR course this week. It was a great CPR refresher for both of us ..never having done an infant before. At least I felt safe holding the plastic baby. Steph banged her baby's head on the table while we were practising the flip for choking... it was kinda funny.
While we were waiting for the course to start the unit clerk (Trish ... she rocks) told me that I had a visitor "a friend from work" ... I thought it might have been my boss whose son went into the ICU last week with a serious pre-existing condition combined with H1N1 ... But it turned out to be a VERY annoying client that we all don't really like from my office... he wanted to tell me that God was looking after our little guy and that we should pray together ...while fuming inside from the inconsiderate interruption by some Jesus Freak that I don't know other than by work related phone calls, I calmly stated that I wasn't a religious person and that I was busy taking care of Emmett and had to go. Just showing up at the hospital unannounced when he doesn't even know me almost set me off. Jesus uses email too, I'm sure. our friends know me better than to just show up here or at our house unannounced, let alone the hospital!
I told trish that I didn't have any friends from work and that we weren't expecting visitors at all for that matter ... She nodded and smiled that empathetic smile.
After nearly a month in the NICU the nurses (ahem ...Jessica) finally encouraged (re: berated) me to change a poopy diaper ... I've done my fair share of the pee diapers but on the best of days my stomach is weak ... So this is a real milestone for both of us ...he didn't even fuss with me when I put his monitor leads bck on. We do our best to be included in everything that's happening here ... We're bathing, feeding, changing, cuddling and learning preemie care from the best there is here.
We started playing music for the little monkey quietly on the iPod during his evening feed ... He seems to really enjoy Derek's old demo of 'the longer you leave it' and 'grassfire' by that Jay Harris fella ... I have to remind myself to ask some more friends to send me acoustic versions of some songs that I really love that they've written. there's this song about a train station in Copenhagen that I'd like to have an acoustic version of ...guess I should call that one in.
...so on we go to week 35... Emmett was one month old today. kinda hard to believe ... time flies but stands still at the same time.
After taking too much time off work to be at the hospital my doctor and I came to the decision that, for mental health reasons, I be placed on medical leave until the new year. My bosses were already contemplating this as well as they'd noticed I have not been myself in 3 weeks. I hate leaving my teammates holding the bag for a couple of months but I'm sure they would all do the same thing if it was their child.
not a day after I signed out of work the band I've been playing for sent me a note saying they had a guy to replace me ('this guy is chompng at the bit to play with us') so Ive parted ways with them on a very friendly note. it's nice to see a kid looking out for his band first ... even if he is impatient and very inexperienced with running a band. tact is very important ...sending me a msg on facebook telling me a replacement was available the day before a show made me a little mad. having a baby isn't the hard part .... having a baby in NICU is the hard part. It might be hard if you're 25 and have no career or haven't settled down ....but add ten years to that and you're pretty stable. As soon as Emmett is home I'll be looking for another gig ...i really had fun playing with them, tons of energy and pretty decent songs and the guys are pretty good humans. I've had a couple crazy ideas... so we'll see what happens when i approach some people with them.
We wrapped up the last of Jay's Mansion-Mondays this week and things finished with a decent show, but not our best for sure. i just couldn't keep my head in it ...and not because of Emmett, i was just off that night ...i hate that feeling of unsteadiness ...i felt i was guessing at the BPM all night long and never really locked in with mr euringer on bass... frustrating for sure. i'm going to spend some quality time with jay's music over the next few weeks leading up to a show on NOV 28 with our old friend Justin Bird (Nov 28 @ The Mansion)
Emmett's been moved to q 3 feedings ... 30cc/3hrs and seems to be doing ok with it. He's up over 3lbs now (3lbs 7oz as of today). he's back off all his gear except the heart/lung/o2 saturation monitors... and the feeding tube, of course.
so that's about it for week 33... oh yeah... I finished off the nursery ...hanging shelves, mirrors, art and photos ...but i still have to take a picture of the artwork that colleen made for us ...it's wicked good.
having a baby shower with no baby and no pregnant lady is very weird but we did it. Steff was exhausted afterwards but went to the hospital to continue the breast feeding testing/training. She dropped me off near home so she could get there on time. schedules are crazy these days but somehow she finds the energy to keep up. I need sleep or I'm just a zombie and can't function... at least a few hours amongst all the worrying.
It was the third week of jays shows at the mansion and it felt really good ...we all felt a little more in the pocket and the dynamics were good. there was absolutely no one in the bar but the band and the staff but we nailed it. Felt good ... The last couple of weeks had felt off to me even though we were playing fine... it just didn't feel as good.
Robbie took me to see George Jones with Jess and his dad ....I'm not quite sure what to make of it ...but it wasn't good at all. I was hoping for a little more from such a legend. But at least he showed up for the show.
it sure was nice to get out of the hospital for a few hrs
A few months ago I joined Rowan @ Ramsay Media for an evening of fun at the art gallery taking pictures while Rowan shot video of The Beautiful Women Project - by artist Cheryl Ann Webster. I'd met Cheryl Ann at a party Rowan hosted last winter and we'd discussed shooting her exhibit for a promotional video and perhaps making some merch for her also (postcards, buttons, stickers ...the usual stuff) ...Rowan finished off the video in the summer but i finally got the public link to it today so I figured I'd share.
Emmett is doing well ... we can't thank everyone enough for all they've done for us recently ...your calls / emails and texts are appreciated even if we haven't gotten back to you yet.
i wrote the "week 31" blog last night in between sets with Jay @ The Mansion ... I'll post it later today with a couple of new pictures too.
I've been writing this blog in my head for the past few days and finally got time to sit and write it out ...
The past week has been another whirlwind of undiscovered emotions making themselves known and settling into a routine (we all know how much steff like routine) ... so ... where to begin
We got a call last Saturday morning from emmett's nurse saying they were having a hard time getting a new I.V. run and were calling to obtain consent to run a peripheral cathetar line (PICC line) or a central line IV ... the nurse said she'd call when it was done and we could come visit. The iv line went in through his armpit and straight to his heart.
It was the longest 4 hours of our lives waiting for the all clear call ... Finally at 1pm I had to call ... His nurse said she was still waiting for the attending dr to sign off the it was inserted and functioning properly but she assured us that it was only a formality at this point and to come down as it was no longer required to be sterile in his area. by the tome I got there he'd been cleared by the dr on the picc insertion but still had the backup iv in his head. It was quite frightening to see him with an iv in his little head but the nurse again reassured me it was only temporary and that it would be removed by days end. he still looked happy with the big arm splint and head iv ...he opened his eyes and stared at me for a while as I stared back at him quietly ....he knows when we come to visit... very aware of his surroundings yet quiet amongst all the chaos in the nicu of babies crying and monitors beeping/alarms sounding and nurses giggling at babies and each other
I've always had a respect for nurses (my mom's been one for about 25 years now) and these nurses earn every ounze of it too... they treat both Emmett and steff/I with the greatest kindness and gentility ... Then they make fun of my shoes or Emmett for being such a wiggly little man.
somehow I managed to stay awake long enough to make it to our 2nd Monday night gig at the mansion ...a bunch of friends joined us in raising a glass to our boy. Yup...a week after Emmett arrived steph was out at the bar... great story to tell him eventually ...considering she's not a drinker at all (she didn't have a drink) I won't tell him I was there too heheheheh... After we play I go to the hospital and tell him a story while cradling him in the baby spa. my hand feels so big and rough on his soft little head ... It totally rocks when he looks at me when I'm holding him.
The grinch's heart grew three sizes that day Robbie said the day after Emmett was born while we were staring into the toaster oven at him.. I giggled cause I knew it was true.
I get to spend every night having some snuggle time with him out of his toaster oven (which is more a baby spa now than a toaster) after his bath ...and no, I haven't changed a diaper yet but have been told that I will be very soon.
yes ...that's steph in a hospital bed after giving birth. you're not seeing things ...i'll get to that in a minute.
you'll have to excuse me if this blog seem a little incoherent. i'm working on 4 hours sleep in the last 48hrs and i've been sick since monday and can't shake it (probably due to lack of rest)
i was sick as a dog on monday night for jay's first monday night show at the mansion (Jay Harris and the Transceivers every monday in october ...come see a show!) but i pulled off the show pretty well and called in sick on tuesday for work ..i was zonked sick by the time i got up.
steph got up and went to work, left work early to go visit her sister who finally went in to labor on monday night ... baby was born by c-section on tuesday morning at 547am... steph got home around 5pm and said that she'd had some mucusy discharge during the day and was spotting a little bit (oh yeah by the way this blog will get a little graphic ...we have no shame... never have) so we called the oncall midwife and she said she'd like to see us as the hospital as it sounded like stephs waters may have broken.
wow ... nervous does not describe the state we were in at this point. we calmed each other down (we're the best at that) and called rob/lisa to give us a ride to the hospital.
we got there at 8pm and they ran a few tests to check to see if the fluid was amneotic fluid or if steph just pissed herself as some pregnant women will do. it's hard to tell urine from amneotic fluid when you drink a shitload of water every day ... and i wasn't taste testing anything.
at 1030pm they said it was confirmed to be amneotic fluid and that steph would be admitted to the hospital until the baby was born ...doctor said it could be today or it could be in a few weeks. but based on the fact that it was amneotic fluid they'd most likely induce labor at the 34 week mark to ensure full development of the baby's lungs (we were informed of this during diana's pregnancy also when she went in to early labor but did not lose her water) ...we knew we were at the 30 week mark and it could be a big problem for the boy if things went bad at this point. they tested stephs cervix and stated it was closed and thick ... no baby today they said. "phew" we thought ...what a relief. they scheduled an ultrasound for half hour later to check on the baby and to give them time to administer some steroids to steph to assist in the development of the baby's lungs ...giving him a little jumpstart so to speak. antibiotics were started through IV and the shot went in the ass ...
i left with lisa just after the drugs got underway ...time to pack a bag for stephs stay in the hospital ..which could be up to a month long.
at 1115 we got back to the hospital and steph was having full on contractions ...lisa reminded us that the nurses had earlier said the steroids could cause some contraction like things to happen ...so we were thinking that's what it was ... we're pretty freaked out at this point ...everything was going absolutely perfectly with her pregnancy ...eating well resting fine ..not even morning sickness!!
the nurse came in to check on steph ...who was in a lot of pain at this point but handling it fantastically ... she hyperventilated a little bit but we were under a huge amount of stress ..more than just having a baby at term ...we focussed again on breathing (and a little paper bag in front of her face) when the next one hit the doctor decided it was time to have a look again at the cervix.
the resident doctor looked at me (she was awesome) with HUGE eyes and said "shayne she's fully dilated you're gonna be dad tonight ..congrats" i immediately stated that we hadn't taken this part of the childbirth course yet and weren't ready for this ...totally unprepared ... i'm a little jokey sometimes under duress ...humor always alleviates the stress ...the doctor looked back at me and said 'time for the crash course ... you're already doing great!'
the on call midwife had left about 15 mins before i got back ... we'd been told no baby so she left and said call me if you need me. we were disheartened that she couldn't be there (not that she 'wasn't there') for the birth but it wasn't going to be our midwife anyway ...so when the doctor said we're wheeling her into the birthing room there was going to be no time to get the on call midwife back to the hospital from wherever she lives. in hindsight the doctors (resident and on call doc) and the nurses were absolutely wonderful with us. they'd known we were scheduled for home birth and midwife ...and they made us feel like we were the only family in the entire hospital that night. it was awesome. doctor reported afterwards that i'd passed the test on child birthing without the classes. i credited bill cosby stand up comedy for the knowledge.
we got the gamut of professional advise from all the nurses about what was going to happen because he was coming so early ... he'd be rushed out to the neo-natal icu ward right away and they'd take us to him later on ...the quicker they get him to treatment the better the chances are that he'll come out of this a perfect little human specimen. we understood it all and weren't in that much shock considering the events that were unfolding around us ... preemie baby, potential lung development problems ...i heard a humming noise in my head at this point ..information overload ... "fuck i've gotta coach my wife through this and we're not prepared AT ALL!"
the one reassuring factor in the entire night was that his little heart was beating just perfectly they said ...and he didn't appear to be in any distress.
our single childbirth class that we'd attended the previous week was just an introductory session and really didn't cover anything we didn't know about basic biology and the physiology of childbirth ...still good class cause we got to ask questions afterwards ...but i felt like i wasn't prepared for this at all ..we didn't even have a bag packed or the dresser set up in the baby's room yet (crib/paint/other furniture was done i just haven't put the dresser together yet) ...the class reminded me to prep a progressive muscle relaxation script for steph to use during the active labor portion of the baby coming ... months away i figured but i had one brewing in my head anyway and thanksfully so.
as we went into the labor room they had steph on the bed and there were no stirups ... i was kinda disappointed ...after all the bill cosby talk about feet in stirups and the doctor looking like a baseball catcher i was looking forward to seeing stirups. nope. the doctor explained to me that i'd be responsible for holding up one leg while steph was pushing and to let go in between ...she demonstrated once for me and i took over.
steph started pushing ...doing a wonderful job with push control coaching from the nurse across from me while steph focussed with me on breathing. only about 20 minutes of pushing ...at which time i was able to see the head crown (i was shocked at myself that i didn't pass out at this point but i was just there for steph no matter what) the doctor basically grabbed my head and told me to look to help reassure steph that all was going ok ... plop came baby emmett with a "meh" from his mouth and his little eyes wide open staring me down with a "wtf" look on his face. bang ..off he was rushed to the neo-icu stabilizing area.
a couple of minutes after emmett looked at me and said 'meh' i realized that i hadn't put stephs leg down from the last round of pushing ... the doctor reminded me that i could release her leg now ...theyd just wait for the placenta to be passed and that i could go to the neo-icu stabilization area and check out what they were doing to emmett (we'd confirmed the name at the time he came out and said 'meh' instead of crying loudly ...he was cool enough for the name emmett)
i kissed steph (and we high fived heheh,) who of course was tired but exstatic that all appeared well, then i trotted off to the neo-stabilizing area down the hall ...i talked to the little man while he was being cleaned up, poked, proded, plucked and squeezed by about 7 different people all calmly stating numbers and body parts and smiling at me consistently ...i realized then what a professional routine i was watching in front of me ... at no point in the night was anyone stressing us out or saying anything we didn't understand ... and we were included in everything at every time ... absolutely amazing those nurses are.
it was 1253am when he was born and by 130 they'd wheeled him back into the birthing room for us to take a quick look at him ...we knew when they wheeled him into the room again for a minute that all was going extremely well ...if he was in more serious condition they'd not have brought him back in for us to see at all.
steph recovered in the delivery room for a bit and then we moved to our room for the night ... they said we could see him in about half an hour.
the neo-natal intensive care unit at kgh is a great little area ...i've always heard outstanding thing about the staff and care level but having experienced it for myself for just the last 24 hours i've been amazed and grateful to live in this city once again for its hospital care. the same nurse that did most of my chest xrays while i was in having that chunk of lung removed came and did emmetts chest exams ...steph recognized her right away. heheh gave us a little moment of 'wow we shared something with our son'.
we went in to visit and what a sight ... nice and quiet in there ...the little man in the baby toaster warmin' up like bread proofing ...we talked to him and were allowed to touch him but we can't hold him yet. that'll most likely be on friday. stephs still in the hospital ..most likely coming home friday also ... then when emmett is ready to come home (they say they'll keep him til close to his expected birth date of dec 13) we get a couple of nights in the parent ward with him before we take him home... we feel so close to him but so far at the same time right now ... he definitely knows when we come into the room. and he's hairy like an ewok... that's mah boy.
so much thanks to those around us who've again gone well above the call of duty in supporting us ... rob/lisa/robbie/rex/michelle/ashley and of course flo ...who became a grandma twice in 24 hours.
i'll write more when i've settled down after some sleep ... writing this brought on a whole wave of emotions that i thought didn't exist so i'll stop now before i keep rambling.
<3 s/s
PICS OF THE BOY (there's more when you click on the links):
Uh-oh ...stephs ankles have disappeared ....her feet swell up gradually over the course of the day from walking around her office all day. Sometimes her hands swell up from typing too much, but her feet seem to be taking the brunt of it.
The little man, tentatively named Emmett, appears larger daily ...sometimes I can see him move stephs belly with a big kick ...heather, our midwife, was pushing around at the most recent visitation and letting me hear the heartbeat again and the beat of the cord pumping blood in there... neat.
I decided that I was going to venture into the land of cellular phones recently, but I decided to just get an iPod touch instead ...all I really needed was a more portable wi-fi device to blog, keep some pictures and music handy and of course, facebook and Twitter (which I'm trying to remember to use more often)... I'm not much of a phone guy anyway and I couldn't justify the $45 a month to myself ...i take steph's cell phone with me when i'm away from home just in case... i'm actually on my way to Toronto right now to play a show while i write this on my ipod touch ... it reminds me of writing my show diaries on my old palm pilot on the way home from beta shows... except in color and with wifi capability.
I've been feeling really productive behind the drums lately, more comfortable and my hands are starting to remember what to do and when to do it ...it's almost like my drums and I are friends again ....steph says she's noticed a change lately and says i appear to be 'back to yourself again'. the combination of jay harris and fugitive underground has really pulled me out of a slump ...ya know that feeling when your'e playing for hours but not accomplishing anything ... i've felt lately that i'm accomplishing something. and the guys seem pretty happy to have me on board even though i'm a bit rusty ... ryan's songs really fire me up inside ...something i haven't felt since ... well ya know (that's my obi-wan impression) and jay hasn't told me i suck lately ... so i'm ok there too. jay's songs are like comfy shoes ...they just feel right, doesn't matter when the last time i played them was, they just feel themselves out ...and playing with robbie is a natural feeling ...add jay e. on bass and the band is soundin' reeeeeeal nice. ensure you make it out the mansion for at least one monday in October to have a drink and say hi.
I've been busier in the last few weeks than I've been in a few years and it feels fantastic! I miss the extra sleep but i've been enjoying playing and shooting almost every night.
E's room got painted last weekend... Rex came over and cut in the ceiling while steph rolled the room in record fime (she paint like a machine!) and I cut in the baseboards and doorframes... Still need to finish the second coat of trim .... Looks really nice. When the darker furniture gets put back in it'll look awesome. almost ready...
just a short one this week ... but i figured you'd all want a picture at least (yes robyn... this means you sweetie)
week 27 ...man time is flying and the critter is growing at a mad pace. i've gone from sloth to busy in the matter of days and haven't had time to update my blog or take stephs maternity shot. i need an iphone to keep up with things... yes, that's my justification for buying one soon.
i've been playing a lot lately subbing for a departing band member of fugitive underground, a band my friend jef is recording/producing. jef asked if i knew anyone that might be interested in the gig as it was kind of an emergency and i said i'd take a shot at it to help out. it's a complete depature from my more recent projects, but a fun opportunity too (i loved the challenge of learning a set in a couple of days in a style i hadn't really played in a long time). i managed to pull off the first two shows without anyone noticing that i was the new guy so i felt it went well. there's always things i want to tighten up or make more fluid ...but that's the way it goes. ryan (singer/songwriter) offered the seat to me but i'm still kinda sitting on the fence if i want to join full time or not ...too many committments coming up to make that decision right now.
jay's got a round of shows coming up at the mansion here in kingston (9-midnight every monday night in october) which is going to be a blast ... he's asked if i'd be interested in taking on more responsibility with the band helping to share his load a bit more ... i love working with jay. he's brought on jay euringer to play bass for the upcoming shows (and has been playing with the trio version the transceivers with cam/jay) and i really enjoy his playing and insight. great harmony vocals and a real feel for jay's style. turning me into a whole different player almost with jay. it's been challenging to balance both jay and f.u. ...to reel myself back in from the aggressive music to jay's laid back ride.
i also shot another wedding last weekend (for a co-worker) ... i haven't finished with all the photos yet but i'm pretty happy with what i got on first look. it was a very casual wedding which made it easy to lurk around and get the shot that people weren't expecting ...waiting for the moment as opposed to trying to play catch up. i'll post a link to the gallery when it's all done. i'm still new to this wedding photography thing ...and i'm sure this is something that all the vets have to put up with ... but there was one guy who insisted on shooting with his flash on during the ceremony (after being told that the photographer (me) was the only person permitted to use flash in the church) ... then he followed us to the location for the formal shots and kept firing off over my shoulder a few seconds before i'd be ready to shoot ... his flash kept firing my lights. fuck... i asked him to stop shooting (well steph did ...she's a far more diplomatic person than i am and a fantastic pregnant assistant!) ...i switched to the cheap flash triggers instead of the master/slave combo and eventually got MY shot. but hey ... it happens. i always do my best to stay out of the way at weddings when i'm not 'the shooter' ... this guy was nuisance (bride walking down aisle ... dude stands up from his seat, steps into the aisle in front of me and starts firin' off bursts at full pop ... i missed her coming down the aisle as a result. pissed me off... didn't he see me crouched down to take the shot ...he almost had to step over me to get into the aisle. fuckstick.
Stephs doin' great ... she says the boy is up under her ribs causing a little difficulty in breathing from time to time ...and you can see a little poke out in her belly when he's sitting up high ... we got her a body pillow this week and she's been able to sleep more comfortably now (not to mention giving me waaaaay more room in bed without a ton of pillows stack in between us) ...i actually heard her snoring last night ...a good sign.
we went to a home birth seminar this week and learned more about doin' this all at home ... interesting stuff. those midwife people sure come prepared. so relaxed and comforting for the mom to be having them around. you get way better answers from the midwife than the doctor ... doctors seem far less interested in the woman as opposed to the process of getting the baby out. it's not a drive-thru ...it's a baby.
i'm making a promise to myself to manage my time better over the next weeks so i don't miss out on another photo ... i'm letting someone else down other than myself now. weird.
